Category: hypnotherapy for Fears and phobias

1. Fear of sharks and how to save a surfer on The Speakmans

   Posted on 3:31pm Wednesday 23rd Jul 2014

   Danni has a fear of sharks and it is stopping her from being able to enjoy the sea with her daughter Grace. She has been unable to swim in deep water after an incident 34 years ago when her brother pretended to be a shark when she was a child. The Speakmans are here on ITV and now they can take a look and have a listen in order to help.

   Danni states that she is afraid of sharks in every situation. She cannot even see a picture of a shark without feeling her heartbeat rise. I know that many people commented on twitter and facebook during this program that this seems extreme but this is often common with phobias. I have encountered many people who have a phobia of spiders and snakes which means they too would not like to see a picture of them. I even know of one hypnotherapist who has pictures of spiders to help with spider phobia testing on their website.

   As we have seen before, the Speakmans get the family together for a group session in order to help this fear. They speak with Danni, Grace and her mother Mary. In all the people I have seen with phobias, and amongst the therapists I have spoken to there is no precedent for having a family counselling session in order to deal with a phobia successfully. Of course when you are making a television programme it will look more interesting when you get a family group together and shoot pictures of them crying and being emotional.

   Most clients who see me for a phobia find it so much easier than they imagine. There is no need to expose them to the thing that they are worried about in order to help them let go of the fear and move forward.

   Galeophobia, or the fear of sharks, is not something that you would ususally treat by taking your client to the seaside for a paddle in a harbour in the UK. We are fast approaching the point where the therapy is turning into something that could alienate those worried about a fear of phobia.

   You can read all about fears and phobias and how they happen and how to overcome them here..

   How do fears and phobias start and how to end them with hypnotherapy CLICK HERE

   This time her daughter was not present but did send a video message which brought the tears required for daytime television. We found out that the fear came in part from her experience with her brother and partly was learnt from her mother. This is also quite common. We do need to be aware of the example that we set our children. Most spider phobia sufferers have found that this came from a parent for example. The good news about this is that it is something you learned and this means you can unlearn it too!

   There was a lot of laughter in this programme. Sometimes it is hard to see the difference between nervous laughter and that of someone who is not quite as bad as they say but appearing on television. I am sure that we are just not seeing everything.

   The treatment on the beach

   This time the Speakmans opted to treat their client on a beach. It did look similar to the place they took her earlier before the family group mediation meeting. I am sure that these took place at different times although it did look like we were seeing something filmed out of sequence because of television constraints.

   The film Jaws seems to have had quite an effect on Danni. Hollywood may have a lot to anser for!

   If you would like help with any fear or phobia then you can email me on [email protected] or call me on 07980 233160

   No one needs to live with a fear or phobia ,you can let go. Just ask for help

    

2. Do the Speakmans use hypnosis?

   Posted on 6:29pm Thursday 17th Jul 2014

   Today on Television show "The Speakmans" we met Dave who has not chewed on solid food for over a year. He told us that he was never a fussy eater but now he is. He is a father and husband and we watched him out with his children in a pub. He would not eat though and when they eat tea at home Dave has soup. He also does not sit with the family. The first thing he said was " I find it more comfortable sitting on my own and having time to myself" You could be forgiven for thinking that being a father he could perhaps be more thoughtful. Once we learnt that he was taking the children swimming and now has stopped that it was hard not to think that he would have to be very blinkered not to be thinking about what effect he is having on his children. Even if he really can't eat he could still choose to be with his family and show his children a good example. 

   In common with the approach that we have seen in this ITV series the Speakmans came to talk to husband and wife together. After five years of marriage the cracks are beginning to show. After losing a great deal of weight Dave feels that it is time to do something about the problem.

   I do have to say that having been aware of the process of selection for participants in this show I have to wonder how much longer he waited to get help whilst he waited to see if he was selected. If I could give one piece of advice it would be to seek help for your worries and anxieties. That is always that hardest part. Once you ask for help things really do get easier.

   The story

   In February 2013 Dave got some food stuck in his throat whilst out eating. He found that this affected him badly. For the first time the couple talked about how this has affected the children. Without sounding harsh it seems amazing that this is something that has not been spoken about before by the couple. Sadly, I do feel that certain things that we are seeing are a bit more "structured reality" for TV than they would be in real life.

   As they seem to do each time they asked the participants to write letters to each other and read them out. This makes for an interesting watch but I wonder if it is the best way to work with clients? They then read out a letter written by the children Sophie and Ollie. Clearly these children are affected by the problems that are being caused so asking them to write a letter about it for a television show seems to be to be very irresponsible. I work with children on a regular basis and they would be much better served by having someone to talk to away from the cameras rather than being made to write a letter such as this. The Speakmans methods are very different from other therapists.

   Next one of Dave's friends Mike was wheeled into the situation to ramp up the drama further. This is looking more and more like an intervention for an alcoholic or drug addict. As the series goes on I am starting to see patterns in the way The Speakmans conduct therapy that may well be off-putting to anyone who wants to deal with their issue and does not have a family who would want to join in. They surely cannot only conduct their sessions in this way? It seems that their set process must mean that those people who wanted help and didn't have a posse to appear with them on television were clearly not chosen. Rest assured that myself and every other therapist I know work with individual clients and working with a group is a rare occurrence.

   What do the Speakmans do next?

   So off Dave went to a kitchen to see food in a cupboard. They showed him a lot of cans of soup and said this is what your future holds. I wonder if they buy thirty cans of soup normally? Again, this seems another show for TV rather than something that perhaps they could have just asked him about. I find that working with clients and their imaginations people are often surprised about how powerful they are. Of course Dave found himself in this place so starting to imagine it changing for the better.

    

    So..do the Speakmans use Hypnotherapy to help their phobia clients?

   Throughout this series we see a set format with a discussion with the family and yet we never see anything other than talk. I am aware of some of the techniques that The Speakmans use and they do use techniques of Hypnotherapy and other skills that a Clinical Hypnotherapist such as myself use. I am still unsure of the reason that we do not see this part of the therapy during the show. It would demonstrate that changes can happen but that they make take longer than one afternoon. You can always seek help and lose any fear, phobia or bad habit that you have. Just ask for help.

   This time we did see Nik Speakman ask Dave to close his eyes and describe the incident that first caused him pain. Any time that we close our eyes we are more open to using our imagination. Eyes opened again Dave continued. Once again I think we are seeing less of the eyes closed work than actually takes place.

   A plate with a piece of ham, like the one that caused the problem was then put in front of Dave and he was made to feel quite small. I wonder how much of changing you would do if you felt that there were cameras on you and you didn't want to look so foolish? By talking about embarassment they told him how he felt and why. I don't recall many instances of me telling clients how they feel and why. I may ask them what they think and wonder but the Speakmans have a level of confidence that is different from the rest of us.

   "All I am asking now is for you to grow up" Nik Speakman told Dave "There is nothing wrong with you"

   WIth that simple statement Dave had very little choice but to eat. The music swelled and we saw him eat. As an observer I wonder how this well continue once the cameras have moved on. Dave was clearly eating through the shame he was made to feel. Did that deal with the issues or wre they papered over? Only time (and Dave) can tell. We watched Dave and the Family eat fish and chips and then we left them to enjoy the beach at Blackpool

    

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