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  1. Two things The Speakmans did that were negative

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    Nik and Eva Speakmans or "The Speakmans" to give them the title of their ITV TV show have been helping a variety of people with fears and phobias. As self dubbed "Celebrity Therapists" they have had a great deal of success on this TV show. 100% success rate to be exact. I watched an episode all about OCD and saw a couple of things that I do not think were helping. I was surprised but perhaps that's what sets them apart from registered and qualified therapists (apart from their £1000 fee!)  Here's what they were..

    This Episode was number 19 and appeared first on ITV on  Thursday 7th August 2014
     
    Jo has suffered from OCD for 17 years.  She hates germs and will not allow them in her house.  She has to keep her house, kids and car free of germs.  She insists that everyone takes a shower as soon as they enter her home.  She has three children and once they get home from school, she insists they have a shower.  Jo has a one year old daughter and she took her to the clinic earlier this week.  Jo felt awful because as soon as they got home,  she had to give the baby a bath.   Jo will not allow anyone in her home apart from her husband and children.  Jo's mother, has only been to her house once in the last year. "people don't come to my house anymore as they know it makes me very uncomfortable."  Jo hates touching anything dirty especially money. Anytime she leaves her house, she has to take anti bacterial wipes as she can't open doors without them.  When Jo goes outside, she will only use one of her hands to touch thing, the other hand is kept free from germs.   Jo would absolutely love to free herself and her family of this obsession.
     
    So, in this episode as we always see there was a family therapy session. The Speakmans then appeared outside their house and Nik Speakman stated that he wasn't sure they would be able to fix this problem in an afternoon. This appeared to be partly to explain that the show was going to be a rollercoaster of excitement and also to show that this is how they work. They will fix you in an afternoon. I would never claim that you can come and see me and be free of all fears, phobias or anxieties in one session. No registered therapist would claim this either. It is simply not a reasonable way to help people. If you come to see me with something that you have held on to for years why would you only want to lose it and get on with your life if you could only do that in a couple of hours? Also how could I possibly know that we had dealt with all of your concerns in that short a time span? You may not even know for yourself.
    I know of no therapist who would be making a claim like this. What I find hard to watch about it is the implication that it is the only way to get help.As a Clinical Hypnotherapist, hypnotherapy is a short therapy but even so, not just one session.
     
    If you speak to a therapist for help and they tell you they can do it in one session then you should avoid them as they may well just want your money. How can they know how long something will take? Of course the Speakmans charge a huge amount of money for a private session so it is likely to take a few hours. When you work with a therapist over a number of sessions you have more time to understand what can change and for that change to happen when YOU are ready for it rather than within the therapist's time frame.
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    Ultimately, I am teaching my clients how to relax and let go and that is always much more effective when taken over a number of sessions. Most clients only see me for three or four sessions before they are ready to move on and do not need to work with me any longer. During this period I have recorded audio for them to listen to between sessions and taught them ways to help themselves when I am not around. This means that they understand that they can let go when they are ready.
     
    The other thing that I found very disappointing was that after they had helped Jo to overcome her OCD (which of course is fantastic and to be applauded!) they took her into a shop that she struggled to go into and helped her to help herself to a lot of chocolate as a treat. As they use NLP techniques they must be aware of the fact that they may well be starting to anchor the good feelings to her eating chocolate which seems a very bad idea indeed. I work with so many people who reach for the chocolate in emotional times that this seems a very dangerous thing for them to do.
     
    It is important to understand that the overwhelming success that the Speakmans have in helping people is not to be underestimated. Raising awareness of change is excellent. However, sometimes the fact that this is a television show, and the lack of adhering to professional standards does show and can grate a little. Nik Speakman in particular seems to have a habit of telling people how they feel rather than asking them. It can sometimes feel that people are being pushed into things before they are ready.
     
    If you are looking for help and advice I would suggest that you always speak to two or three Hypnotherapists or therapists of your choice, and make sure they are members of a body such as the NCH and that they have the training and experience that makes you confident in the fact they can help you. Almost the most important aspect of chosing is making sure that you feel the person is right for you, so take your time and when you chose wisely you can look forward to success in helping you to lose fears and anxietys, OCD, Phobias or whatever you are looking for help with.
     
    What is the difference between CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), Counselling and Hypnotherapy Read that here:
     
    You can email me with any questions that you have on [email protected] or call me on 07980 233160
     
    You can listen to a Free MP3 for relaxation on this site and also download my FREE "How to Stop a Panic Attack Download" to listen to whenever you would like. It helps explain your panic attacks as well as having a session to help you learn to start let go. I spend more time helping people with stress and anxiety than anything else so never feel that you need to live with overwhelming feelings that concern you. You can always ask for help to let them go and move on to the life you would really like.
     
     
     
     
     

  2. Prof Steve Peters on BBC Breakfast on The Chimp Paradox

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    As I caught up with the news this morning I saw that Prof Steve Peters was appearing on BBC Breakfast talking about The Chimp Paradox. As this is a book I have found to be very useful in my life both personally and in a work context I realised that perhaps I could share some of my positive thoughts around it.

     

    The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters a book review

    As a clinical Hypnotherapist I spend a good deal of time helping my clients to think about new ways to look at things that happen in their lives and alternative ways to deal with those occurrences.

    I use many examples of things that happen in my own life to illustrate what can happen and make those things seem easy to understand. Having an eleven year old often means that things that happen with us can make a great story and the way that a child sees the world is very different from the way that we so called “grown ups” do.

    Dr. Steve Peters’ book The Chimp Paradox – The Mind Management programme for Confidence, Success and Happiness is a fascinating read and helps open up the mind to a different way of thinking.

    The simple version of what this book does is give a way to see how we react to what happens in our lives and demonstrate that in many ways our adverse reactions to things are not our fault because there is a part of us which he calls “the chimp” which does not take time to look at the facts and works only on an initial emotional response. Once we become aware of the chimp and the role it plays then we can start to understand why we do the things we do, and more importantly we can learn to tame it somewhat and treat it in a way that shows we understand it. Then it can let off steam when it needs to and our Human side can take over and ensure that the more rational part of us, the part that is sensible and respectful, can be in charge when it needs to be.

    Through this simple analogy the book explores many more complex parts of our whole and how the interaction of those parts causes us to live the lives we do and behave in the ways that we do. Along with exercises that can be performed and more complex understanding of our thought pattern we can see how we can change.

    If I find a book that is useful I will often recommend it to other therapists and also sometimes to clients. In the case of this book I would, and have been heartily recommend it to both clients and peers.

    I love being able to talk about things that have happened in my life in order to show real stories and as a hypnotherapist I am very aware of Milton Erickson who built his career and teaching on stories and examples and whose influence looms very large over hypnotherapy still.  This book is such that anyone taking it away will be able to understand exactly where it is coming from. I would like to think that I am well aware of how my thoughts influence my life, this didn’t mean that I wasn’t able to benefit greatly from reading The Chimp Paradox.

    Steve Peters' book really does have a simple way to understand that you can take back some control. Once you realise why you did not have that control you can start to take the steps that you need to tame that chimp and even if you sometimes struggle to be in control, you can understand why that is and move away from beating yourself up about it.

    I heartily recommend this book. It isn’t something that you really need to read in order to make your life better. It will make you think about things in a different way even if you feel that you already have the control over the parts of you that you may not feel you always control. Even if you feel that you control your own chimp reading the examples and stories will entertain and inform you.