» Listings for 2016

1. The Speakmans How to Be Happy tour Review Bimingham

   Posted on 10:54am Thursday 21st Apr 2016

   The Speakmans show live - Review of the How to be Happy Tour.

   

   When the celebrity therapists Nik Speakman and his wife Eva Speakman, best known for appearing on the ITV show This Morning announced that they would be hosting a live tour of a show they called "How to be Happy" it meant that they had a chance to show what they do when they are on the TV. Whenever they appear on This Morning, one of the problems is that they do not like to show the methods that they use to get the results that they appear to get. Many people who have suffered for many years seem to have miraculous changes and let go of all their problems in an hour. There is often critcism about them from therapists explaining that they give an unrealistic expectation of how long change can take. 

   The How to be Happy Tour means that the Speakmans can try their methods live with people both in the audience and with people brought up on stage with them

   Reviewing the show would be hard for me to do objectively as a fully trained and qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist, knowing that Nik and Eva are not trained or members of any professional body, so the best way to share with you a review of the Speakmans show is to get someone else to review it for me.

   This is a guest review by one member of the audience for the show at tha Birmingham Symphony Hall on Thursday 21st April 2016, They are also having shows at Bridgewater Hall in Manchester, King George's Hall Blackburn, Royal Concert Hall in Nottingham and G live in Guildford.

   If you attended any of the speakmans live shows and would like to comment or write a review then please feel free to use the comment box below.

    

    

   What happened at the Speakmans How to Be Happy Show in Birmingham?

   Jennifer's Review of How to be Happy Tour by the Speakmans

   Symphony Hall Birmingham 21st April 2016

   My name is Jennifer and I am a mum of two preschool age children, married to a lovely supportive husband and also the one who walks our shitzu Maisie. I have watched Nik and Eva Speakman on This Morning many times and I am always very jealous of seeing what they are able to do with people just while the show is on. I have always felt a bit wary of going and seeing someone myself and I don't think that talking all about my own phobia is something that I would want to do on TV in front of many people watching. I would just imagine their eyes on me and I think it would give me lots more pressure.

   

    

   My own life should be really happy, but to be honest I do sometimes feel down and so when I saw that tour was going to be called "How to be Happy" it seemed like a really good chance for me to go along. I had read that people would be able to go on stage but I wasn't sure that would be for me. My hope was that I would be able to get lots from just watching the show. Being a mum with a tired husband it was hard for me to be able to go out and see something that started at 8.00pm. I am not sure what the reason for this was. I certainly wasn't the only one wondering what that was all about. It's tough to get out in the week, but I really wanted to go and I persuaded a friend to come along with me, although she said that she thought that the Speakmans were just trying to get some more cash for their big house they show off on telly. That did make me laugh and I really appreciated that she offered to come along with me. I know I wouldn't have been able to go along on my own. 

   As well as worrying about stuff on a daily basis I also have a horrid fear of spiders. They don't have to be bad ones but my phobia is something that I don't want to pass on to my kids, so if I could get some help to cure my phobia then I would be very happy indeed. As the day of the show arrived I started to get a little nervous about what might happen and I even questioned whether I would be able to attend or not. I think that I feel that if I actually go then what might happen? I don't really know what the Speakmans do to cure people of their problems, as we don't see that with Phil and Holly so I have started to get some anxiety about whether I can make it to the event. 

   We arrived in plenty of time because I was a little worried about being late and there were lots and lots of other people who looked like they were very eager to see what would happen as well. The show was due to start at 8.00pm and you could tell that everyone was getting excited about it. I'm not sure why but in the end it was nearly twenty minutes late starting and I have to admit that this did start to make me feel a little nervous.

   When Nik and Eva came out it was lovely to see them in person and finally get started. The told us all that we have things called schema and these are the things that cause us problems and that by changing these we can change the way that we would feel. There was a big screen and we could see some clips of things that they had done. One of the things they did was get a girl called lousia out on stage to cure her phobia of spiders. Nik Speakman started off by showing her a spider in some glass and she didn't like it. They also hooked her up to a heart rate monitor so they could show us how fast her heart was beating. After a while they talked about how she was scared of spiders but each spider eats 2000 flies so would she rather have 2000 flies on her or a spider. They then brought out a real tarantula which she was able to hold which was fab.

   

   After this we were having a break and they told us they would tell us what they did when they came back after the interval. I talked to a lovely lady during the interval who asked me how I was finding it. I said that it was lovely to see someone with a spider but I wasn't sure if I was cured of them myself. lol. In the second half they bought on a big mirror and got a lady out of the audience who felt a bit sorry for herself to talk about boosting her confidence. It reminded me a bit of Gok Wan. She was a bit upset and crying so to be honest I did go ourside for a bit as I felt uncomfortable watching her when they were getting her to say lots of sad things about herself. I should probably have stayed to get the benefit but I just didn;t like it.

   They also showed us some film of Vicky Pattison talking about how much she got from working with the Speakmans. That was so sweet and she seems lovely. I just wish that I could afford to go and see them myself, because I can't realy afford it, and I wouldn't want to go on the television with This Morning.

   They also brought on an army veteran who they cured of PTSD which was so amazing to see.

   I think that the best thing I took from the night was that you can change bad things that you think. I am just not sure that all that has happened yet. I think that actually I need to get some help as it is too hard to do alone, and I now know that it is ok to ask for help.

    

   • Comments and further reviews from the audience: 
   • • Donna  
     • I went to the show last night as a friend wanted to go. I didn't know what to expect as I had never heard of them. Bringing that spider onto the stage made me so anxious, I am completely arachnophobic and it was such a bad idea for all the people like me sitting in the audience. It was irresponsible and I would never have paid if I had known what it would entail. I went in feeling happy, and i came out a shaking mess. I left after that, having been through quite enough trauma. Add to that the fact we were kept waiting till 820pm for them to come on stage, they boasted about their home and the size of it, and said that they wake up every day grateful to be alive. It was cringe worthy to watch. The stuff they came out with is nothing new, it's CBT and its been around a long time. Complete con, don't bother going. 

    

   • Julie   
   • I went to the show last night and today was looking for the reviews on line when I found this so thought I would have my say. It was disappointing, weak and very long. The show over ran by 45 minutes not finishing until 11am. It didn't get started until 8.15 and there was a long break in the middle from about 9.15-9.40. Frankly they spoke like amateurs (Nick seemingly needing an autocue throughout, Eva trying to inject some personality) and seemed very under-rehearsed, and at times seemed ill at ease and irritated with each other. To be honest they looked very anxious as if they had bitten off more than they could chew. Not a great advert for their brand. The attempts to inject humour were juvenile & embarrassing. Many TV clips used were from This Morning some of which I had already seen. Using Vikki Patterson as a role model and live testimonial for their work when as yet we have not seen the results of her 'dramatic change of lifestyle' seems rather premature and unconvincing. We watched a 'live' demo of a spider phobia, a discussion of a woman afraid of ice (first seen on This Morning), a case study on low self-esteem which was better and a rather feeble attempt at PTSD which was by now so late I was anxious to get on my way home. The Speakmans have clearly cornered a niche and made a name for themselves using the media to court some 'celebrity' clients but inspirational speakers able to command the Symphony Hall they are most definitely not. The whole thing seemed poorly designed and under rehearsed almost as if they thought could take a 5 minute set hosted by Phil and Holly and turn it into a show without much effort by themselves. However they seemingly have a simple formula for curing phobia which if it works then that is a good thing and should be shared but as a show it definitely needs a rethink. 

    

   • I like many note the national advertising campaign " How to be Happy" by the Speakmans promoting their tour.
     
     In a nutshell what a load of bo''@~@cks. If the Speakmans " Were so Happy, they wouldn't be spending so much time touring the country trying to earn a crust.
     
     Yours sincerely
     
     J 
     
     
   •   
     judith   
   • How to be happy? Charge desperate people lots of money to listen to self serving cranks 
     
     
   •   
     Linda 
   • As a qualified therapist myseilf it has always amazed me that ITV is prepared to promote unqualified therapists on their programme. And, having watched their programme I am stunned bytheir unethical pracrices and lack of professional boundaries 

    

2. How to tell when someone is lying to you?

   Posted on 10:34am Wednesday 20th Apr 2016

   How can I tell when someone is lying to me?

   I always think that this is something that we often know without even having to think about it. If you have children then you will know that they are often very bad at lying, and in fact that “Tells” that they have can lead you to the same conclusions that you may find with someone older.

   Even our pets can’t lie, I know that if my dog has done something that he shouldn’t and I ask him he will look away and avert my gaze!

   So what signs show that someone is telling lies?

   When we lie, we just can’t help giving away subtle signs. All these tiny unconscious clues betray our real thoughts and give away the truth of the tale. 

   Touching the face

   When making up a lie you will often notice that people sometimes cover their mouth or touch their face, maybe in the subconscious guise of scratching their nose or rubbing their chin. They don’t know that they’re doing it but it is believed it be akin to “covering up” their lie. 

   Watch that Smile

   When  we  smile  naturally, as  a  result of  feeling  happiness or sensing something that  amuses us,   our  smiles appear quickly and symmetrically.  

   The  muscles instinctively and automatically create that visual response. Just try and take a look for yourself the next time you make someone laugh. You will notice that their smile appears without reservation. However, a false smile is slower and lopsided or crooked, it’s just not natural and you will often be surprised how easily you notice once you know what to look for.

   The eyes have it

   Where you can consciously control your heart rate, your bladder and indeed your brain, especially with a little practice, the  movement  of  your  eyes is one of the  few reactions  in  your body over which  you have  absolutely no control.  You can’t change the way your pupils dilate, for instance, just by thinking about it. You have probably already heard that if you are attracted to someone then your pupils dilate. You can’t change that, it happens without your control.

   So, our eyes  give  us  away  more  than  you  could  ever  possibly  imagine.  When  we  are  nervous our  eyes  often  move  rapidly and  as we  grow  more  uncomfortable with  the lie  we  are telling, our  heart  rate increases and  as  a natural response,  our  pupils  dilate. Sometimes it  has  even been  observed  that  people’s  eyes  will  often  dart  towards  the  exit  of  a  room  as subconsciously  they want to  remove themselves  from the lie  and thus the  environment they’ve found themselves in. Imagine that! Just showing that they want to escape right in front of your own eyes!

    How fast are they talking?

   Most of our communication is non verbal; it’s via body language, postures and gestures, facial expressions and the like. Even so a really good way to spot a liar is just to listen to what they say.

   The volume of their speech and the intonation as well as the content. They often add lots of detail that you wouldn’t expect, almost as if they made it all up just in case you asked! Sometimes that fast talking shows that they are eager to get it all out as soon as possible!. You may even notice that as their mouths dry out then you can hear a difference in the way that they speak.

    

   Of course, some people may be better than others at lying and let’s hope you don’t need to use any of these tips at all anyway.