» Listings for 2014

1. Self Harm therapy The Speakmans help the victim of an attack

   Posted on 2:47pm Friday 18th Jul 2014

   The Speakmans Episode five review.

   In this episode of The Speakmans on ITV we met 22 year old Karlette who was attacked and has not been able to recover from the incident. The Speakmans are known as celebrity therapists helping clients such as Kerry Katona, Kym Marsh, Holly Willoughby and even Jeremy Kyle. Karlette's Mother Anne Marie told us all about how confident she was as a child but that was no longer the case. She was attacked following an incident at her school which then came out of the school and took place at her local train station. He Hair piece was ripped from her scalp as she was punched. She was just 15 when it happened and now self harms to block the pain. Can the Speakmans stop a self harmer? And how will they do this?

    As we went into the first break we were teased with the idea that the family were about to open up to each other. I think that if we were to draw any conclusions from what we have seen about how the Speakmans work by viewing this Television series it is that they seem to be very much in favour of getting everyone in the family together on the same sofa to talk about their issues with each other. A concern that I have already expressed is that this does not help give a huge amount of hope to anyone who does not have support from their family. I see many clients who have a problem that they are not comfortable talking about with their family. There are also many people for whom the family is the problem. It is sometimes a case that I work with clients to help them deal with issues with a member of their family who they cannot change. You may not be able to change them but you can change the way you see their actions and react to them.

   When Karlette and Anne Marie met the Speakmans in their home they talked through what happened. Her mother stated that she felt guilty because of what happened even though it was seven years ago. As we have seen time and time again in the way that The Speakmans work and the people chosen for the show they often seem to have let the incident carry on and the effects have not been talked about by the family. As a result of the incident they left the town that they lived in as they did not feel safe on the streets and in fact the mother and daughter left the husband and moved out. Karlette stated that she felt that this was her fault but had never spoken to her mother about it. As a Clinical Hypnotherapist I see questions being asked that I would ask, but I also feel that any researcher would also ask similar questions when looking for people to take part in the show. I almost feel that people who have not spoken to those around them are more likely to be picked. I have to say that if you feel that you should speak to a loved one or friend then taking that plunge may well benefit you more than you can imagine.

   Her sister was then brought in to speak about her thoughts in the family. This is where the format of the show is becoming far to set. In a therapy session it is important to begin without prior plans about how it will run in terms of who you talk to and when. It seems that we are seeing exactly the same approach each time we see the Speakmans in action. I wonder about how flexible they are, or if this all stems from the way that the show is being produced. Sure enough the next things they did was bring out letters that they had written to each other. We now see this every time. Do you feel that writing a letter is something that would come easy to you? Perhaps not.

   The Format

   I do feel at this point in the series we are having the idea of family support and relations being important. Of course they are, but I would also like to see the Speakmans help someone who is alone in the world with their issues and worries. If you are alone, do not be afraid to ask for help.

   The Therapy

   
   This time the therapy that the Speakmans used to help Karlette took place in their lovely garden. They asked her to close her eyes and talk through what happened on the day that the attack took place. “Keep your eyes closed from start to finish” she was told. We watched her tell her story. When you eyes are closed your mind is more open and your imagination is not confused by the things that we are seeing so it helps to concentrate the mind. As we listened to the story we were not told what happened to her attackers. I imagine this would make a difference to how she felt about being in the town where it happened. Perhaps it was just edited out. She was taken to hospital and found it very distressing.

   When talking through the event and how she felt she explained that it now felt worse to her. She was then asked to describe the person that she sees in the mirror. She said that she saw scars and this made her feel weak. They talked to her about how everything that she was about herself was in her imagination. She told them that she felt “Silly”.

   Seven Years since the attack

   Whilst the Speakmans asked about whether she had invited the attackers back into her life they did not explore where the attackers actually were. I am curious as to why this is, but again, we are limited by the format of the show.

   We missed part of the therapy and then they asked her to close her eyes and think about the attack. When she did she laughed and could not feel her feelings about the attack. As ever, we did not see the intervention that they used, but rest assured they will have worked with her to change that memory and change her thoughts about it.

   The Treat... The Speakmans like to take their subjects off for a treat and this time they took Karlette off for a makeover and to present the weather on Television. Of course this was great and she loved the experience.

    

   As with all the other shows in this series we can see the difference that the Speakmans are making to people’s lives but we do not always see the full process. This will always be part of a television programmes construction. If you need help and advice there is lots of information here on this website including FREE MP3 downloads.

   Never be afraid to ask for help. That first step can be the hardest but afterwards it gets easier.

   Next time on The Speakmans we see them help a lady who suffers from agoraphobia and is unable to leave her house.

2. Do the Speakmans use hypnosis?

   Posted on 6:29pm Thursday 17th Jul 2014

   Today on Television show "The Speakmans" we met Dave who has not chewed on solid food for over a year. He told us that he was never a fussy eater but now he is. He is a father and husband and we watched him out with his children in a pub. He would not eat though and when they eat tea at home Dave has soup. He also does not sit with the family. The first thing he said was " I find it more comfortable sitting on my own and having time to myself" You could be forgiven for thinking that being a father he could perhaps be more thoughtful. Once we learnt that he was taking the children swimming and now has stopped that it was hard not to think that he would have to be very blinkered not to be thinking about what effect he is having on his children. Even if he really can't eat he could still choose to be with his family and show his children a good example. 

   In common with the approach that we have seen in this ITV series the Speakmans came to talk to husband and wife together. After five years of marriage the cracks are beginning to show. After losing a great deal of weight Dave feels that it is time to do something about the problem.

   I do have to say that having been aware of the process of selection for participants in this show I have to wonder how much longer he waited to get help whilst he waited to see if he was selected. If I could give one piece of advice it would be to seek help for your worries and anxieties. That is always that hardest part. Once you ask for help things really do get easier.

   The story

   In February 2013 Dave got some food stuck in his throat whilst out eating. He found that this affected him badly. For the first time the couple talked about how this has affected the children. Without sounding harsh it seems amazing that this is something that has not been spoken about before by the couple. Sadly, I do feel that certain things that we are seeing are a bit more "structured reality" for TV than they would be in real life.

   As they seem to do each time they asked the participants to write letters to each other and read them out. This makes for an interesting watch but I wonder if it is the best way to work with clients? They then read out a letter written by the children Sophie and Ollie. Clearly these children are affected by the problems that are being caused so asking them to write a letter about it for a television show seems to be to be very irresponsible. I work with children on a regular basis and they would be much better served by having someone to talk to away from the cameras rather than being made to write a letter such as this. The Speakmans methods are very different from other therapists.

   Next one of Dave's friends Mike was wheeled into the situation to ramp up the drama further. This is looking more and more like an intervention for an alcoholic or drug addict. As the series goes on I am starting to see patterns in the way The Speakmans conduct therapy that may well be off-putting to anyone who wants to deal with their issue and does not have a family who would want to join in. They surely cannot only conduct their sessions in this way? It seems that their set process must mean that those people who wanted help and didn't have a posse to appear with them on television were clearly not chosen. Rest assured that myself and every other therapist I know work with individual clients and working with a group is a rare occurrence.

   What do the Speakmans do next?

   So off Dave went to a kitchen to see food in a cupboard. They showed him a lot of cans of soup and said this is what your future holds. I wonder if they buy thirty cans of soup normally? Again, this seems another show for TV rather than something that perhaps they could have just asked him about. I find that working with clients and their imaginations people are often surprised about how powerful they are. Of course Dave found himself in this place so starting to imagine it changing for the better.

    

    So..do the Speakmans use Hypnotherapy to help their phobia clients?

   Throughout this series we see a set format with a discussion with the family and yet we never see anything other than talk. I am aware of some of the techniques that The Speakmans use and they do use techniques of Hypnotherapy and other skills that a Clinical Hypnotherapist such as myself use. I am still unsure of the reason that we do not see this part of the therapy during the show. It would demonstrate that changes can happen but that they make take longer than one afternoon. You can always seek help and lose any fear, phobia or bad habit that you have. Just ask for help.

   This time we did see Nik Speakman ask Dave to close his eyes and describe the incident that first caused him pain. Any time that we close our eyes we are more open to using our imagination. Eyes opened again Dave continued. Once again I think we are seeing less of the eyes closed work than actually takes place.

   A plate with a piece of ham, like the one that caused the problem was then put in front of Dave and he was made to feel quite small. I wonder how much of changing you would do if you felt that there were cameras on you and you didn't want to look so foolish? By talking about embarassment they told him how he felt and why. I don't recall many instances of me telling clients how they feel and why. I may ask them what they think and wonder but the Speakmans have a level of confidence that is different from the rest of us.

   "All I am asking now is for you to grow up" Nik Speakman told Dave "There is nothing wrong with you"

   WIth that simple statement Dave had very little choice but to eat. The music swelled and we saw him eat. As an observer I wonder how this well continue once the cameras have moved on. Dave was clearly eating through the shame he was made to feel. Did that deal with the issues or wre they papered over? Only time (and Dave) can tell. We watched Dave and the Family eat fish and chips and then we left them to enjoy the beach at Blackpool

    

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